Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
