do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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