I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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