it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
