end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
