no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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