i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
