my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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