God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's Friday. Sex?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
