I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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