The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
