i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize