If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
