he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
