I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
