: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
