I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
