the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
