im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Define "chronic" masturbator.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
