Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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