Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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