No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i drank out of a bidet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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