Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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