I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize