she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
