After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
