a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
