How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
