ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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