I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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