that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
