Where is the hickey?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
