I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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