I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
