Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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