hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
