I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
