Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
