Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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