so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
