All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
50% drunk capacity currently
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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