The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
