If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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