Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
