what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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