Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
