he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's the barista slut.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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