we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize