YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
