I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
