ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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