am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
