just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
