If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
