Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
