Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
