Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
