Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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