oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
